Just trying to not kill myself

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My dream

to live somewhere nice
and with someone nice
with enough to get me by
close to my brother
close to an ocean
with a beautiful view
and to make art
and take pictures of beautiful things, so I can keep them forever
and travel 
and be happy
and live a content life, 
with exciting adventures once in a while
and stimulating conversations
constantly learning new things, good things. That interest me


Is that too much to ask? Is that really too much for me to handle? Am I really that emotionally unstable?